That’s right, I was robbed. Some of you may know about the crazy story and I will elaborate on what happened and how it made me really think about some other important aspects of my dreams and BHAGs more deserving of my attention than I was giving them. Some say everything happens for a reason, but we don’t always know what that reason is right away. Our perspective and how we choose to look at what happens can help us connect to possible reasons. How we learn from a situation isn’t just about the situation. It is about our bigger picture of the world and how we want to be. I do not believe in coincidence. I do believe in chance creating choice, and the results of this creating the next steps of the path you are on, with your concept of the world and what you choose at each opportunity presented acting as your roadmap.
So being robbed created a great bend in the road of my life. I had been having some anxiety, friction, and hardcore procrastination around what to write in publishing this next blog post. I have many self-sabotaging reasons I could blame for this, but in the end, it all comes down to the perfect mix of moments had to come together to allow the soup in my brain to come to the perfect boil and flavor the dish just so. A vague way of saying I had been wrestling with a bunch of things and until this moment of clarity, of being robbed and having to stop for a moment to see what impact this had on my life, well it woke me up to in my half-sleep up to that point and produced the following.
This is my ‘victim’s impact statement’ which I had to fill out and submit to the Delaware AG’s office and it will be read at the young man’s arraignment. I share it because it is my truth. I hope it is something that helps even one person. It is how I truly feel about anyone and everyone who is in darkness. There is light in us all. We just need to know where to find it, and more importantly we need to shine ours for those who are in darkness or who have forgotten how to use theirs. This is the only way to truly be connected and make the most of our existence.
Here is the explanation of the purpose of the statement:
VICTIM IMPACT STATEMENT
For some people, writing the impact statement may be very emotional and difficult to do, however this is an opportunity to have your voice heard in court and make the judge aware of the impact this crime has had on your life. Some things you may want to consider including would be physical or emotional impact, effects on other family members, and effects to your employment, income, or daily activities as a result the crime. The judge may also take into consideration conditions your request with regards to the sentencing; a few examples might be:
-Have no contact with you or your family
-Participate in mental health of substance abuse treatment
-Perform Community Service
-Restric access to internet
It may seem like the theft of a ‘smartphone’ is something insignificant since so many people have them and they are so easily replaced by the swipe of a credit card. However, I use my device to impact the lives of others in a positive way daily. It is the only phone I have, as I do not have a landline, and the main if not only way for friends, family, clients, and students to get in touch with me directly. I run a business with only 1 employee, me, from that phone. In my business as a Holistic Wellness Coach and Movement Specialist I utilize the iPhone in question to coach others in empowerment, movement, and stress management, and using our god-given human potential to inspire helping many to improve their lives. I am not yet in a financial position, as I build my very young business, to be able to replace such an expensive communication device without it limiting my resources for sometime. It will take me several months to balance out the debt this has caused for me. This creates a hardship as I have to take time away from creating value for others in order to work more to balance out the cost of replacing this device.
Xavier, when you asked me for money, I replied, “I’m sorry.” and I genuinely meant it. I am sorry I cannot solve whatever problems you have going on with a single hand out. I am sorry someone in your life hasn’t shown you how much more you are worth in the world. I am sorry we couldn’t sit and talk about the things that have happened to you or been done to you, and more importantly the hopes and dreams you may have given up on or didn’t even know you could hope or dream to achieve because of what may have happened in your life. If you had asked for that I would have done it, by the way! I am sorry I look to you like someone who looks down upon you so I am worth stealing from. I too have seen some horrible things and had harder times than you might imagine someone sitting at a coffee shop with a laptop, an iPhone, and a fancy coffee could know about.
I don’t know about you, but I know your life is worth something and definitely worth something more than this crime you committed might show. I only hope you figure that out, and soon. Please know that I think of your well being often since that day. I cried when they put you in handcuffs. Even if that has ever happened to you before, it was the first time it happened for you while I was there to witness it. I would never want to see anyone have to go through that, no matter whether it is necessary or not. If things were different, I would want to be your friend if I could, and tell you that you don’t have to live like this. It isn’t easy to change the reality that led you here, but it is possible. It takes dedication to something bigger, and lots of hard work, but most importantly a desire to want something better for your one precious life and a knowledge that no matter what, you are worth it. And you are Xavier.
I myself have overcome many hardships. I grew up with a single mother who could hardly take care of me on her own, and to this day she deals with financial troubles as well as physical and emotional issues. I was abused as well. I have had some kind of job since I was 13 years old and had to work my whole life to get to where you see me today. I work hard because I know I can do better than what has happened to me. I work hard because I know whatever happened to me is not who I am. Who I want to be is up to me. Where I come from, and what has happened is a chapter in my story, but I get to decide how the story goes. Xavier, you can be something other than the story your life has been so far, IF YOU WANT IT BAD ENOUGH, and are willing to keep trying even when it looks like there is no hope and its too hard. If I could, I would be there to support you if you did. It makes me so sad to know you made this choice and though I don’t know what others you have mad like this, it pains me to imagine you have.
I would like to forgive you. Can you forgive yourself? Can you forgive those who have told you the story about who you are and what you can be? Can you move on to a life better than what you are allowing for yourself right now? I hope so. I dream of you being so much more than you are letting yourself be today. Please know I think of you and believe you deserve better.
Please read this and comment if you like. How will you use your light to support another whose brightness may have dimmed? What can you do today to show someone you know they are worth more and you will be there for them if they want it? Light and love to you all!